Managing Emotions with Compassion-Focused Strategies
Emotions are a normal part of everyone’s lives and we all feel them consistently throughout the day. Sometimes we will experience emotions that are more difficult such as: shame, anxiety or anger that can feel overwhelming. Often people may blame themselves for feelings this way or have beliefs that they should “just try harder” or “just be stronger”. But what if I told you the answer might not be toughness, but instead kindness? This is where Compassion Focused Therapy can be used.
Within this post, we will explore what compassion focused therapy is and how it can be used to support you through the emotional healing process. If you find that you are having a hard time with emotional pain, or self-criticism, this approach may be something to help you find a way forward.
What is Compassion Focused Therapy?
Compassion focused therapy is a type of psychotherapy that helps individuals who struggle with high levels of shame and self-criticism. This therapy model teaches people to treat themselves and ourselves with kindness and care, even when there is pain to be experienced.
The main idea of compassion focused therapy is simple: we all the capacity to show compassion, and we can teach ourselves to turn that compassion inwards to ourselves.
You can learn about some compassion focused therapy techniques here or get started and explore our therapy services if you are ready and interested in this type of therapy.
The Three Emotion Systems
Compassion focused therapy is built around the idea that we all have three main emotional systems which are:
1. Threat system – this keeps us safe by helping us notice and detect danger. This system is linked to fear, anger and anxiety.
2. Drive system – this system helps us go after goals and rewards. This system is linked to excitement and motivation.
3. Soothing System – this system helps us feel calm, cared for and connected to those around us. This system is linked to safety and compassion.
Many people who have had tough life experiences have an overactive threat system and because of this overactive threat system, their soothing system is underdeveloped. This can lead to someone experiencing constant self-criticism, anxiety or anger. Compassion focused therapy helps us to strengthen our soothing system by developing compassion for ourselves and giving ourselves the care that we need.
Why Self-Compassion Matters
It might seem easy to show kindness and compassion to others, but hard to show that same kindness to yourself. In compassion focused therapy, we learn that compassion does not make you soft or weak, instead it teaches you that showing yourself these things takes courage. Compassion focused therapy means to notice your own pain and choose to respond to it with self-care instead of judgement.
For example, instead of saying “I always make mistakes and mess things up”, you might learn to say “I am having a hard time right now, and that is ok.” This shift in thinking can create large changes in your own mood, motivation and relationships.
Many people find it easy to be kind to others but hard to show that same kindness to themselves. In CFT, we learn that compassion isn’t soft or weak—it takes courage. It means noticing your pain and choosing to respond with care instead of judgment.
Learn more about building resilience through compassion focused therapy here.
Tools and Techniques in CFT
Here are some compassion focused therapy practice tools that you can start using today:
- Soothing rhythm breathing: taking slow deep breaths can help calm the nervous system and bring awareness to the body
- Compassionate imagery: Visualizing a kind, warm presence can help you to feel supported
- Writing from the voice of compassion: Journaling about your own thoughts can help focus on what a compassionate friend would say to you, or what a compassionate friend would say to you.
- Practicing self-talk: Replacing harsh, critical inner dialogue and self talk can help create more balanced and gentle thoughts.
These tools activate the soothing system and reduce shame, anxiety, and anger. Over time, you learn to treat yourself as you would a loved one—with patience, encouragement, and care.
Final Thoughts
Compassion Focused Therapy is more than a technique—it’s a mindset. It teaches you that you don’t have to be perfect to be worthy of care. It helps you connect with your strengths, soothe your fears, and treat yourself with respect.
If you're curious about how CFT could support your growth, consider reaching out to a therapist trained in this approach.
Ready to begin your compassion journey? Book a session today and take the first step toward emotional healing.
